Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Although the exact definition of a utopia varies from person to person, there are a few characteristics that seem to be common amongst most. Most people feel that in a perfect world there will be no classes. No one will be poor, no one will be rich, no one will be hungry, and no one would consume more than they need. Another common thread a utopia is that everyone will work towards the common good and not their own self-aggrandization. Although I personally do not think I would be able to stand everyone smiling and being nice all the time, the concept of this kind of utopia has almost universal appeal.

But if a utopia is the goal, how do we as greedy self-centered human-beings achieve it? One of the most notable attempts was the USSR. Due to the oppression of the czars, the people of Russia revolted and tried to establish a government that would create equality. But as George Orwell put it in his book Animal Farm, some people were more equal than others. This system led to oppression as a ruling class emerged from a supposed classless society ruled by the people. The grand experiment of Communism/Marxism failed.

Why did it fail? Because people, by nature, do not like being forced to do something even if it is in their best interest. Utopia cannot exist if it is forced upon the people it is trying to help. Utopia, by most definitions, is a place where people help one another out of the goodness of their hearts not by being forced into it by some authority figure. This is why all utopias have failed, because people are inherently greedy and inherently anti-authoritarian. People (collectively not individually) will not be charitable out of the goodness of their hearts nor will they do it because someone else is making them. So the question must be asked, can a utopia exist or is it merely just a fantasy?

Even if we do not know if a utopia is possible, we do know ways in which it will not work. Most notably, government forced compassion/income equality. Yet people continue to push government programs, under the guise of creating a utopia. If utopia by those means is impossible, why do people in power continually want to create their version of a “better” world? There can only be the following two reasons: One, they are ignorant of history, human nature, and the amount of real good a government can do; or two, they are very aware of another inherent human trait, the lust for power.

I believe that most people who want government intervention to make the world “better” are good people who simply want the less fortunate to have better lives. I would like to think that most of them do what they can by charitable giving, basically overcoming the greed that encompasses too many. I also think they do not know the best way to help so they turn to the government to do it. Although this is shortsighted, I think they are honest in their want to help.

Sadly, there are the a few (mostly within the government itself) that could care less about helping the needy. They only act in their own self interest, either to secure votes or make money (or both). The more control the government has on its people, the more power those inside the government will have. It is only the quest for power that drives their expansion of the government, not the welfare of the citizens.

In short, government intervention will never create a utopia. Those who think otherwise are either delusional or stand to benefit from it. A utopia will never exist until people overcome their greed and lust for power.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Town in Nebaska Looks Forward to First Fatal Stabbing

Herman Nebraska - In order to qualify for the current economic stimulus package residents of Herman Nebraska (pop. 301) will need to have had at least one violent murder in the years 2007, 2008, or 2009. As part of the Crime Prevention section of the new stimulus bill, congress will give cities $1 million for each murder during the past three years. While larger cities like L.A. will receive around $1.2 billion, small towns like Herman are left in the dust.

The last murder in Herman was committed by Ferris the beaver on March 15th, 2007. Ferris became aggressive after Marvin Jenkins, local football fan, attempted to swallow Ferris' tale during a drunken bet. Although the mauling had a profound effect on the small town, it does not qualify for the stimulus package since Ferris is not a sentient being.

Mayor Clyde Jenkins, uncle of Marvin and owner of Ferris, was disappointed by the sentience qualification and is quoted as saying, "We are going to make this right! We will have some of that stimulus if I have to kill someone myself!"

Sheriff Moss Jenkins, illegitimate son of Mayor Clyde Jenkins, has made assurances that the Mayor will not need to commit the murder. Sources have told him that there is a good chance that Thadeus Jenkins, brother of the late Marvin, will fatally stab someone any day now. Thadeus lives in a cliche run down shack on the outskirts of town and has been seen lurking in the shadows recently. Although Thadeus currently does not have a knife or similar such implement, the Sheriff has promised that Thadeus will be provided with one soon.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Why I love Subway

Many people have fallen in love with Subway and I am proud to say I am one of them. Now, I don't love Subway for its delicious, fresh, and abundant ingredients. I don't love Subway for its semi-healthy fast food alternative nature. I also don't love it because I found it to be a true taste of Americana in the land of the Schnitzel (Germany has Mc D's but how many Americans are proud of that?). No, I love Subway because of its Subway cash card.

Not only does it have the potential to possibly reduce your daily Subway expense by a few cents, but it can also open doors quite well. Last Friday, my wife and I locked ourselves out of our apartment and the property manager was out of town. Kristy had the idea to use a credit card on the door, but who wants to use a valuable credit/debit card on a door. Then we found our Subway card. Not only is the plastic sturdy enough to push the latch down, but the plastic is cheap enough to bend easily through the door jam. All I can say is, Thanks Jared for making Subway what it is today!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Oh, the things you will see up Hobble Creek Canyon

A Snow Train

A Christmas Jeep

A Christmas Palm Tree (the flash kinda ruins it, but in the dark it looks like a palm tree)

Young Superman's Fortress of Solitude